For quite some time now, Ohio has been mocked by her 49 brothers and sisters, ridiculed for her apparent remoteness and lack of excitement. But while Ohio may seem like the dull, plain sibling next to the glamorous California, the exotic Hawaii or the traditionally relaxing Florida, upon closer inspection the Buckeye State has a great deal to offer to retirees that can be found nowhere else.
While reading up on what people around the country thought about Ohio, I came across a set of “You Know You’re From Ohio When….” jokes. The odd thing about the discovery was this: While the jokes were meant to be insulting, I saw within them a compilation of all of the things that make Ohio perfect for anyone looking to retire somewhere beautiful, relaxing, diverse and eventful. Here are a few of the highlights:
1.)“You know you’re from Ohio when your idea of a traffic jam is ten cars waiting to pass a tractor on the highway.”
Now, this may make us seem a bit humdrum and old fashioned, but tractors mean farms, and farms mean – you got it – fresh food! If living in Ohio has taught me anything, it has taught me the value of eating food directly out of the field, and during harvest season the roadsides are scattered with homegrown food stands selling sweet corn, apples, berries, fresh eggs, zucchini, broccoli, pears, and everything else under the glorious Midwest sun. Retirement is the perfect opportunity to experiment with some of these fresh fruits and vegetables in your cooking – you’ll be amazed by the difference in taste from the produce you buy at the store.
2.)“You know you’re from Ohio when all the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, or grain.”
I’m not going to argue about this one – the Apple Festival, the Strawberry Festival, the Maple Festival, the Banana Split Festival, the Sweet Corn Festival, even the Gourd Festival – we love our food festivals. But what’s wrong with that? I have never personally heard someone complain about an overabundance of festivals. From May through December, there is an innumerable number of festivals across the state to keep you occupied. But that isn’t all there is to do in Ohio! On top of the festival culture, we have world-renowned museums, orchestras, theme parks, state parks, and archaeological sites like Serpent Mound. Living in Ohio, you’ll never be bored for long.
3.)“You know you’re from Ohio if you can tell another Ohioan is from southern, middle or northern Ohio as soon as they open their mouth.”
One of my things about Ohio is its geographic and cultural diversity. Whether the city, the country, or the suburbs are your cup of tea, you can find somewhere to settle down that suits your lifestyle. Having so many distinctly different areas within one state means that you don’t have to look far from your home to have an experience beyond that of your daily life. City dwellers craving a bit of tranquility can drift down to Amish country for some incredible food and shopping, and those living in rural areas can go into the city for a movie, a performance, or a museum tour. Our four distinct seasons mean that the landscape is constantly changing, making living in Ohio a unique and colorful experience.
4.)“You know you’re from Ohio if ‘toward the lake’ means North and ‘toward the river’ means South.”
Water is the essence of life, and being near large bodies of fresh water is extremely comforting. Ohioans are very proud of their aquatic surroundings, as they provide a constant influx of fresh water and endless fun. Ohio’s rivers and Lake Erie are large enough to enjoy the recreational benefits of boating, waterskiing, parasailing, fishing and swimming, without the dangers of hurricanes and tsunamis. Retirement is a time for relaxation, and the prospect of a potential natural disaster can make relaxing difficult, as you worry about your safety and your financial stability in the case of such a disaster.
An important fact of which retirees should be aware is that retiring to Ohio doesn’t necessarily mean living in an area surrounded by land. The lake also allows for Ohio to extend beyond its mainland boundaries. Nestled in
Lake Erie are twenty-two islands for you to explore, each one unique. Ferry boats are provided for easy transportation between the mainland and the islands, where you can enjoy fantastic food, beaches, and sunsets while meeting the characteristically warm and friendly people of the Midwest. Plenty of affordable property is available on the islands for those who want something a little different from a typical retirement. And if island living isn’t quite your style, but you still feel drawn to the water, the northern coast is covered in lake front communities with incredible views.
So before you knock Ohio – check into all it has to offer: incredible people, landscape, food and activities!
By Candace Hisey for the
Hisey Group w/ Howard Hanna
